iTunes Top 5 Review (16.02.14)

I don’t know what I expected, but the Top 5 tracks on the iTunes charts are almost exactly the same as this time last week. As much as I know how much people would like to see last week’s reviews copied and pasted into this week’s breakdown, I’m going to review the 5 other songs in the Top 10 for my own pleasure (and yours, if you want it). So without further ado, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the 2nd half-fortnightly iTunes Top 5 (kind of) review!

#4 Rather Be – Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne

It’s all a bit of a mess really. Each individual aspect of this song is decent; Jess Glynne’s vocals are decent, the lyrics are decent, and the random violin/piano riffs are, you guessed it, decent. But when everything is forced together, it makes for a forgettable track with no real grasp on what it wants to achieve. I honestly just listened to it and it already feels like a distant memory. It’s certainly not a bad song, but nothing makes it stand out in the already over-generic machine that is electronic/pop.

4/10

#6 Take Me Home – Cash Cash ft. Bebe Rexha

When the song started I thought I might have been transported to the ‘Rainbow Road’ circuit of ‘Mario Kart’, but alas, no timeless fun was to be had when the song really started. First things first; the lyrics make NO sense. “No one shakes me like you do, my best mistake was you”. Can I please get an explanation? Because I haven’t the slightest clue what she’s on about. “’Cause you hurt me right, but you do it nice”. Well, if you’re into that kind of stuff darling. And the auto-tune! If you can’t hit the notes, don’t hit the notes. Or at least make a better effort to cover it up. I have no appreciation for DJs (or “electronic live performers”, nufnufnufnufnuf) like Cash Cash, despite how many times people have told me about the hours of effort they put in to make the sounds go booowooowoowoowoweeeeeewowowow. Doesn’t do it for me, sorry guys. Nothing special. Nothing new. Not worth my time (but I give it anyway for some reason).

3/10

#7 Brave – Sara Bareilles

God it’s catchy. Sara Bareilles has herself a winner in my eyes with ‘Brave’, a well-written pop song with more heart that is usually evident in chart-toppers. My only real issue with the track is the musical aspect. It was too one-dimensional to support Bareilles’ efforts, and the result is a lack of any escalation within the song to complement the lyrics. A change in the rhythm or adding some extra strings towards the climax of the song would have improved the song greatly, and helped keep my attention past the bridge. Regardless, ‘Brave’ will have you (not me, just you) singing along until you crawl into the foetal position crying “make it stop, make it stop!”

6.5/10

#9 Undressed – Kim Cesarion

So Kim is now a guy’s name… who knew?
Who signs these people? When did the talent lose all their talent? If singing as high as possible is the new standard for musical ability, I’m out. I’m done. Two weeks in and I’ve already heard enough. This track sits at number 9 (NINE. Come on Australia, you’re better than this) on the iTunes charts, and it’s a shame that this quality of music can peak so high. First off, the lyrics are awful. There is a subtlety to good lyrics that is painfully lacking from songs like this. Cesarion offers another example of an artists within this genre flaunting their wealth, needlessly referring to his Mercedes, and going on to indicate his alcoholism and willingness to get behind the wheel while he’s off his face (the face of a role model, that is). He then delivers the greatest pick-up line of all time; “So let’s get undressed, cause’ I want to see you naked”. Subtlety, he ain’t got none. It’s another song that mistakes love for sexual attraction, and it’s just plain terrible in every single way.

2.5/10

#10 Swing (Joel Fletcher Remix) – Joel Fletcher & Savage

Let me say this straight up; song like this have NO place on radio or popular music charts. This “music” should be reserved for clubs, where it is meant to be played and can be appreciated. If I was reviewing club/party music, this might have turned out different. But here, on my blog, ‘Swing’ is on the same playing field as the best of the best. There’s nothing more to say, this track is what it is, and it is a…

.5/10

-Josh-

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